It’s extremely hard not to be in your feelings when you believe Holy Spirit has instructed you to do something major. You may just begin questioning your sanity. Wondering if you’ve heard correctly.  Wondering how this thing will come to pass. Trying to figure out the who, what, when, why, where and how of the ordeal. Like your probably totally freaking out.

Sound familiar? Sometimes obedience to the Father is easy peasy. Other times it’s the hardest thing that a believer would ever have to do. You know God’s voice, because you’ve obeyed before. You just have to be sure. Right?

I get it. I do. Been there. I’m there now. Trying not to bug out because I don’t have all the details but I believe God spoke directly to me.

So here’s what I’m doing in the my meantime. I’m not going to continue to just mope around out of frustration. I’m going to do my part, as God does His.

Here’s what my part looks like:

*Praying:  How can I know if God said anything if I do not constantly talk to Him and actually wait for Him to talk back.

*Studying my Bible:  The more I read it the more it reads me. The more I can recognize the heart of God.

*Seeking genuine wise counsel:  I say genuine because not everyone who says they do have your best interest in mind actually does.

*Fast/Consecrate:  A lot of times when God speaks, the flesh may not always agree. Separating yourself from people and things that consume alot of our time as well as turning down your plate allows space for your flesh to get quiet enough for your spirit to hear loud and clear.

*Be patient:  Confirmation may not come in the way that you are used to, but know that when God wants to get your attention He will do so however He has to.

Whoever said being a Jesus believer was easy lied to you. But with God living this life is enjoyably possible.

Be mindful who you share your dreams with. Avoid distractions. Love you enough to deal with anything that may block you from succeeding. Love Jesus more than life itself and you will be just fine. And work your wait. What you do while you are waiting on God to move is significant to the plans ahead of you.

If you need me to stand in agreement with you, pray with you, or simply encourage you in God feel free to let me know.

As always…

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6


In 19 days I will officially become a Youth and Young Adult Pastor. Who would have thought… my helping with the children’s choir and chaperoning on Sunday School trips and choreographing for the Jesus Angels would lead to this. Teaching Step Dance Routines and sharing in ministry with neighboring churches’ youth ministries paved the way. Planning and teaching Children’s Church Classes set me up for this right here….

I was that teenager who had all the lil ones lined up on my pew in church, quiet, but engaged in whatever activity I came up with that day… Me volunteering beginning at age 12 projected my future in education. And frequently being deterred from being a  “teacher” because the “pay” wasn’t enough still could not alter my passion. But I suppose only God new I’d one day become a Youth Pastor. Me a Youth Pastor.

At one point anything beyond Children’s Ministry Coordinator seemed foreign to me. The limits had been set by those surrounding me. Moving  past Administrator, which was oh so comfy, to more than just a “teacher ” was blocked by those who failed to see me past where they thought I should be. And for a while, my dumb behind stayed and even indulged in limits never set by God. I lived in this man made roadblock voluntarily, until the Lord truly opened my eyes and commanded that I “get my life” and do so quickly.  My natural and spiritual eyes were open. The reality set in that I could actually be everything God wanted me to be. All He said was true. Every authentic prophecy was and still is true. And not even those closest to me have the ability to stop or block me from fulfilling my divine purpose. As much as I have tried. As often as I still want to give up, that is not an option.

So I got loud. I begin boldly declaring the Word. Only speaking and believing the true things about me and demolishing every thought that goes against who my Father created me to be. I began to understand my opinion of myself really does matter. My voice counts. And if my loved ones do not like what I have to say, maybe they should not be apart of my life. I am not who I was before. And I will fight like mad before I allow myself to revert back.

On January 8, 2017 I will officially be Ordained as the Youth and Young Adult Pastor of Apple of His Eye Ministries here in Phoenix. I was appointed Youth Pastor back in June of 2016. My Pastor seems to think this is a good idea or should I say, God idea.. Apparently, God does too. So here I am. Preparing through my nerves. Determined to give God my all in spite of myself.  I am a Kingdom Trendsetter. Ready to make the flavor of God so irresistible, no one would be able to turn away from Him. Yea I serve that kind of God.

So come out and celebrate with me and #TeamAOHEM as we are elevated in God’s house. Only the Lord gets the credit. Pray for me. 🙂


Licensing and Ordination  Celebration


Apple of His Eye Ministries

When: Sunday, January 8, 2016

Time: 3:00 p.m.

Where: Forward in Faith Ministries

Address: 3618 West Osborn Road Phoenix, AZ 85017


❤ Youth Pastor Row

If my friendship with you is solely contingent on my attendance to the various activities that you only like, than the question arises are we really friends in the first place? If you have a problem with me changing, and growing for the better, me learning and sharing my love with others our relationship seems based off of what i can do to help you get better rather than us helping each other become greater. Time out for one-sided partnerships, friendships, situationships, whateverships. If we not in this thing to help each other build the kingdom together. What I have to offer will work for the audience meant for me. Just like what you have to offer will work for the audience meant for you.

It really is sad when genuine people are getting rejected from places where it was made to seem they belonged. But as soon as someone who you think matters comes along and tells you otherwise, said person is no longer welcome. Whether their style is different, their looks don’t match up, their personalities are unique… None of us were made to look and act exactly like anyone but Christ. And even in doing that God gives us ideas to make His name great that are so out of the box, you know the idea came straight from Him.

The moment everyone on my team moves identically we have a problem. Each part of the body fits together intricately yet has its own purpose. We were not designed to look the same. Even twins are not 100% the same.

The advancement of the Kingdom is too important to be stuck on this. If I can’t be friends with someone because you don’t “like them” we have a serious problem. I don’t do cults and cliques. No time for petty nonsense. How about we help each other become better instead of allowing gossip and insecurities attempt to hinder another believers growth. Like seriously! How old are we again?Please miss me with this. We seriously have got to do better.

Allow me to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who rejected me, accepted me, and rejected me again. Doing so pushed me to love me even the more. I was able to find out who I am and what I like. What others disliked at first discouraged me. Now I laugh. And encourage myself to love all of me. What others thinks are flaws, are pieces to a masterpiece created by God Himself. I wasn’t put on this earth to fit in, and look and act like anyone else. I am me beautiful in all you see and don’t see. Don’t like it. That is no longer my problem. It really wasn’t my problem in the first place. I am no longer insecure. No longer does human validation move me to negatively adapt to my surroundings. Fitting in is no longer appealing to me. So please watch me as I wear my natural hair the way I want to. And watch me dress in ways that not only compliment me but make me feel good from the inside out. Listen to me talk my talk and walk this walk exactly how it was designed for me to do so. Standing solo is the norm for me. Pleasing God is the norm for me. People pleasing is no longer apart of my everyday diet. I do not want to order from the menu of defeat. The price has been to high to pay. And those tips cost me, me.

Just be yourself, whether anyone likes it or not. God loves you. And whatever changes are needed, God will show you how. I love you. But God surely loves you best.



Changed. Loved. Me.

Mom lived her life

And had fun doing it too

Made provisions for her family

And made it through it

Life wasn’t always peachy

But great friends, a Good God and her faith made it seem that way

Her kids didn’t know how bad things were

Until going through her belongings

Spoke more volumes than loud

You could hear her dedication and determination

Louder than her struggle

No costumes, no pretending

She was as real as they come

And strong too

Always pushing us

Cheering us own

She was so proud of her two

Bragged about us so

The whole neighborhood knew

Stories that only a proud mom could tell you

Loving us was in her nature

She always knew when one of us drank her diet Pepsi

Couldn’t fool her

Even if we tried

Of course we lied

Didn’t want to upset her

She’d fuss for a bit and than move forward

She was comfortable in her own skin

Proud of her age

Graced with style

Red nails and dyed greys

Always made her smile

A suck up she wasn’t

Always spoke her mind

Told you how she felt

And didn’t care of your response

One would suggest the casino was her second home

It was her time to get away, chill and reflect

She enjoyed the life she lived

She was my mom

Full of tootsie rolls, casino goals, scratch off tickets  and diet Pepsi

Always smiling, giving and sharing

Caring, loving, even slightly funny

She wasn’t perfect

But she was all mine


Happy Birthday Momma

I love you so

Thanks for smiling down on us

And watching us grow

I will continue to make you proud

No, I haven’t given you any grands yet

But soon though, real soon


I love you more than even my own words could express. Thank you for the lessons learned and earned. You will forever be my lady. 🙂


❤ Rowzina

I texted my big brother this morning. He asked me what was wrong. I told him nothing was wrong and that I just loved and missed him. But that was the furthest thing from the truth. I just needed to know that he was okay. I needed to know that he was alive. I just needed to admit that I fear for my brother’s life.

When did the police become the bad guys? Here to protect and serve seems to have gotten swerved by the misconception that all large black men are cold-hearted and dangerous. Even when they are doing exceptionally well, the way they look throws them into a negated category of non-existent possibilities that result in should have been avoided fatalities. Like that could be me, planning a funeral for my big brother.

So my prayers have upgraded, the intensity is more defined, praying for the human race one black man at a time. Your profession becomes irrelevant, your economic status could care less. It seems like we don’t matter, there’s a bulls-eye strapped to our chest.

At the end of the day, God always wins. I’m not sure how all of this works together for our good, but it has to, right? It just does not make sense, does it? It’s tiring, disheartening, downright frightening…


I love my big brother Patrick and all my brothers, friends, uncles, cousins everywhere. The world we live in is downright scary. I am just so glad to know, that all power belongs in the hands of my Father God. And that if man had the last say so, only God knows where we all would be at this very moment.I pray we focus on Him and the plans He has for us. Not even satan can override the things God has planned for our lives.

Hey Lady. ❤


Gosh I miss you. I miss you so much. Sometimes it physically hurts. Your boys are growing up wonderfully. Your son is finding His way. And me. Remember you said, “I know you’re gonna be in ministry.”

You couldn’t understand why I was in church so much. It was partly Jesus and partly wanting to be around certain people. But some where in the midst of those Usher Anniversaries and two to four week tent revivals. And going out with the choir to sing and loving to hear the on point Word of God preached… I was being imparted into.

I learned some things along the way. That I still hold dear to my heart today. Integrity, smiling and giving God my all reign at the top of that list. I got to observe what to do and how not to treat God’s people.

And I’m still learning…

Momma?!?! Can you believe it. God chose me. He picked me of all people. To be A Youth Pastor. This is absolutely surreal. Like I’m constantly asking myself, “Yo. Row. Did this really happen.”

I know you’d be proud of me. Even though you are not here, you are still my biggest supporter.

I’ve been through alot where ministry is concerned. But my God has never changed. I could have given up along time ago. But know this, that by the grace of God I’m still standing. You taught me to never give up. That I better keep trying until I get it right.

So. This January 8, 2017, God sees fit for my Pastor to officially Ordain me. And license 7 others to the ministry.

I think you and Pastor would get along great.

So I am excited and nervous.
I just want inspire others and change lives. Kingdom Building at its finest. 😊

I love you momma. I miss you.

❤ Rowzina


Dear God, Can I be honest with you? Well, when I was a little girl, I used to hear my Pastor say, if you want to be blessed, this is how you have to live. You have to live according to the scriptur…

Source: Diary Of Mad Black Virgin “Life After Sex, Motives”