I texted my big brother this morning. He asked me what was wrong. I told him nothing was wrong and that I just loved and missed him. But that was the furthest thing from the truth. I just needed to know that he was okay. I needed to know that he was alive. I just needed to admit that I fear for my brother’s life.
When did the police become the bad guys? Here to protect and serve seems to have gotten swerved by the misconception that all large black men are cold-hearted and dangerous. Even when they are doing exceptionally well, the way they look throws them into a negated category of non-existent possibilities that result in should have been avoided fatalities. Like that could be me, planning a funeral for my big brother.
So my prayers have upgraded, the intensity is more defined, praying for the human race one black man at a time. Your profession becomes irrelevant, your economic status could care less. It seems like we don’t matter, there’s a bulls-eye strapped to our chest.
At the end of the day, God always wins. I’m not sure how all of this works together for our good, but it has to, right? It just does not make sense, does it? It’s tiring, disheartening, downright frightening…
I love my big brother Patrick and all my brothers, friends, uncles, cousins everywhere. The world we live in is downright scary. I am just so glad to know, that all power belongs in the hands of my Father God. And that if man had the last say so, only God knows where we all would be at this very moment.I pray we focus on Him and the plans He has for us. Not even satan can override the things God has planned for our lives.
Hey Lady. ❤
Gosh I miss you. I miss you so much. Sometimes it physically hurts. Your boys are growing up wonderfully. Your son is finding His way. And me. Remember you said, “I know you’re gonna be in ministry.”
You couldn’t understand why I was in church so much. It was partly Jesus and partly wanting to be around certain people. But some where in the midst of those Usher Anniversaries and two to four week tent revivals. And going out with the choir to sing and loving to hear the on point Word of God preached… I was being imparted into.
I learned some things along the way. That I still hold dear to my heart today. Integrity, smiling and giving God my all reign at the top of that list. I got to observe what to do and how not to treat God’s people.
And I’m still learning…
Momma?!?! Can you believe it. God chose me. He picked me of all people. To be A Youth Pastor. This is absolutely surreal. Like I’m constantly asking myself, “Yo. Row. Did this really happen.”
I know you’d be proud of me. Even though you are not here, you are still my biggest supporter.
I’ve been through alot where ministry is concerned. But my God has never changed. I could have given up along time ago. But know this, that by the grace of God I’m still standing. You taught me to never give up. That I better keep trying until I get it right.
So. This January 8, 2017, God sees fit for my Pastor to officially Ordain me. And license 7 others to the ministry.
I think you and Pastor would get along great.
So I am excited and nervous.
I just want inspire others and change lives. Kingdom Building at its finest. 😊
I love you momma. I miss you.
Dear God, Can I be honest with you? Well, when I was a little girl, I used to hear my Pastor say, if you want to be blessed, this is how you have to live. You have to live according to the scriptur…
Source: Diary Of Mad Black Virgin “Life After Sex, Motives”
For real though. Who actually likes starting over. Can anyone actually, honestly say they love beginning a new from scratch.
I mean it’s an interesting process. Having to take the time to be deprogrammed. Breaking mental habits you probably did not know you even had. Really evaluating your departure from the past and understanding God having a greater plan for you.
But seriously though. Starting over for me has not been easy. I have been accustomed to certain surroundings for so long, it is difficult not to compare. Yet in comparing I am able to see the negative in my past and the positive in my present. I have the opportunity to be debugged of all toxic emotions from the past as well as the “stinkin’ thinkin'” that was associated with it. It’s been about finding out who I really am. Who I am in Christ. As well as going after all things I have ever desired in Christ. I no longer have to worry about anybody blocking me or trying to stop the anointing that they see. My ideas will no longer get knocked down by jealous people. My creativity will no longer be bashed because it’s not understood.
Starting over can have its perks. You may just meet someone new. Of you’ll learn something about yourself that you’ll actually love. You might stumble upon a new activity that actually won’t compromise your Christian walk. This may be the time you actually become bolder in your walk and stronger in you talk. With the Word as our guide nothing can stop you.
Maybe starting over isn’t all that bad. All I can do is take things one day at a time. Continue loving myself. And trusting the God that I serve. With God all things are possible. Even the difficult things. Sometimes I even wonder if I have made the right choice. I second guess myself often. In His own special way, Holy Spirit reminds me that His hand is on my life. I am following exactly where He is leading me. And I am doing just find.
Trust the process. God doesn’t neglect those He loves. He has your back and I am certainly praying for me.
You can find me on:
Facebook: Kingdom Motivation
You lied. Manipulated. Fornicated. Cheated. Betrayed a loved one. Stole time from work. Missed your prayer time with God again. Doubted yourself and God. Didn’t read your bible this week. You lashed out at your family for no reason. You took the easy way out. You even overspent. In the midst of being integral you wanted to get even instead of allowing God to fight your battles. Sound familiar???
Yea. I get it. You messed up big time.
Have you attempted to weigh your sin or compare your transgressions to someone else’s?
Go on. Admit it.
You know, everyone sins and falls short of God’s glory. We all mess up. Even me. The great thing about God is He always forgives us. Repentance opens the door for freedom, maturity and growth in Christ. It’s when we truly change our hearts desire to that of God that our lives become better. When we stop trying to get free on our own and grant Jesus complete control we truly become free. And that victory we already have within us exudes from within.
Why hold on to something or someone that continues to suck the life out of you? Why go back when the only results have ever been heartache and pain? Temporary pleasures that cause extended damage should be eliminated. They are just distractions.
Breaking habits is never easy. But it all starts with a renewed mindset. Make up in your mind you want to solely live for Christ and He will help you do the rest. He will teach you how to pray. Worship will become a lifestyle. Studying God’s Word will be what daily sustains you.
Living a Christ like life is not as hard as people make it seem. Love God. He already loves you.
You messed up. Now get it right. Admit you messed. Confess. Repent. Ask the right people for help. Forgive those you need to forgive. There is freedom in Christ. And it’s yours if you want it.
Man. We can be our own worst enemies at times. Trying to figure out the how’s and whys of the direction God allowed our lives to go in. Becoming frustrated because we don’t understand. That’s when faith must come in. We know we heard God correctly. Either we’re going to step out on faith or allow our fear to paralyze us.
It would be wise for us to obey God in His timing. When we take time into our own hands, we just mess things up. When He says move, Move. Tell fear where to go. Remind yourself who has all power in their hands. Trust God.
If I would have never moved to Arizona, only God knows how my life would be right now. I could have allowed fear to keep in New York. I could have let the words of family and friends stop me from the next chapter in my life. I could of allowed my doubts to push me back on that plane once I landed. My best friend can attest to the fact of how panicky I was after getting off that plan. But even in the midst of all of that, God still had a plan. He always knows what’s best.
Arizona hasn’t always been peachy. But I can say I have grown in God, I have never been more confident. Struggles have forced me to trust in this God I cannot see. I now know who truly has my back and who doesn’t. I’m learning daily the value of independence and making decisions based on what I desire in life.
There is no point in over thinking. We must stop our thoughts before they over power our hearts. Affirm daily the truths of God. Keep your mind focused on Christ and all else will fall right into place.
Don’t miss out on a divine opportunity because you are concerned with who doesn’t approve. At the end of the day, the only approval you need is God’s. Being a people pleaser will always end up badly. Being a God pleaser will always put you out on top. God has gifted you in more than one area. This wasn’t for you to just allow your talents to go idle. Your gifts were made to bless the World. You are not limited in your reach. Whatever limits you have placed on yourself; remove them. Step outside of man’s box and step into God’s way of living. He is the author of divine opportunities.
Go for the nation’s.
I always say this. And I will keep saying it. Someone out there needs exactly what you have to offer. Do not keep your gifts to yourself. Share the wealth. Learn your craft. Commit to God wholeheartedly and watch Him work everything out just for you. You have the power to get wealth in the palm of your hands. Get to work. Work your faith. Fear won’t ever pay you nothing but sickness and heartache. But God. You won’t ever go wrong with God. Trust Him. Trust the God in you. Trust yourself. Failing will teach you a lesson you won’t ever forget. Don’t be afraid to fail. I’d be more afraid not to try. Especially knowing God has my back.
Believe me. I know this is easier said than done. But my Word tells me that my God never fails. He always has my back. Even when I fail myself, He is right there to help me. Never throwing my past in my face. Forgiving me. Equipping me to handle whatever comes my way. We truly serve an amazingly awesome God.
Tap into that faith that you haven’t fed in a while. Tell fear wear it can go. Make your distractions kick rocks. Encourage yourself. You can do this. Go for it. Be Unstoppable. Do not give up.